Tommy knows that if Gorgeous George doesn't wake up in a few minutes, he - Tommy - will be buried with him. Why should the gypsies explain to someone why and why a stranger died in their camp? It's easier to bury both and go to another place. Rooms social insurance they don't have it, do they? And now Tommy, nicknamed "Tit", is praying. And if he doesn't pray, then he should fucking do it.

As in any good financial pyramid, at the base you constantly need to recruit people. As with the Social Security scheme, there is a large number of people who collectively pay for someone else. Milking these good samaritans is just the assignment of my personal social safety net.

You don't even know anything about me.
- Your middle name is Ralph, you were born on March 12th, your height is 5 feet 9 inches,
you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.
- Wow! You are a psychic?
- No.
"Then would you mind explaining how you could have known all this about me?"
- I stole your wallet.

In fifteen minutes of a clear military report, humanity managed to descend from a monkey, invent fire and the Windows Millennium operating system, fly into space, because there is no place better at home, kill most of the American Indians, but then repent, find a way to live in peace with all peoples, except for Russians, Ukrainians and Chinese, who simply have not grown up to the great American game - baseball, and therefore cannot be considered truly free. It built cities and created developed system communications, Internet and health insurance, and in the gaps between the cities wheat grew and Ford cars drove, children played and - unfortunately - individual punks used drugs, whole caravans of which arrived from Russia and other provinces of the Evil Empire. It was a good speech. It's a pity that the listeners did not understand anything from her, except for the fact that it is not good to kill hostages.

Pi". The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. And these are just the initial numbers. They continue on. To infinity. And never repeat. This means that the sequence in decimal places of this string contains all combinations of digits. Your date of birth, locker code, your social security number. All of them are somewhere in this row. And if you turn those numbers into letters, you'll get every word that exists, meet it in every possible combination. The first sound you uttered as a baby, the name of someone you like, the whole story of your life, from beginning to end. Everything we say and do All the infinite possibilities of the universe are hidden in this one simple circle. And how you use this information Why you find it useful Well, that's up to you.

***
Auto insurance today
people are just punished.
Smash your car to rubble
and the insurer: "Fuck you!"

***
Guys I messed up
mother-in-law, damn it, insured.
There was a typhoon, a fire, a war,
well, and mother-in-law - no shit.

***
In times of crisis dashing
I insure property.
And my wife: “Insure!
The house will burn down - you will receive ... a bonus.

***
Egor decided to insure
its natural "device".
And the insurer answered:
"Unliquid. There is no insurance."

***
Was Gosstrakh.
Now Rosstrakh.
There was a feeling.
Today - fuck.

***
Intimidated by the Stalinists, Satanists, terrorists.
We urgently need to insure, because I risk my head.
And yesterday, a brick from the roof to me "kumpol" with a whistle,
but the hospital explained that the case, they say, is not insurance.

***
We protect ourselves from fear
from financial ruin
from fires, from thieves,
stupid doctors.
But from women's tricks
I still don't have insurance.

***
Darling insured me
but, nevertheless, failed.
Now I walk with a belly
soon "bonus" face.

***
Insurance filling out the policy,
going to the pole.
Interesting to see:
if a white bear eats,
matchmaker, brother and sister-in-law
Will the company pay insurance?

... the real trouble was "insurance insurance". Imagine that you go to an insurance company and insure your car against theft. You draw up an insurance contract and leave satisfied. And yours Insurance Company goes to another insurance company and insures your risk there in case they have to pay you the cost of your stolen car. And so on... But for some reason, no one thought that if everyone insured against possible losses, then, "if something happens", and everyone will have to pay for everyone.

A 97-year-old man comes to an insurance company and addresses an employee:
- Hello. I want to insure my life.
The employee asks in surprise:
- Excuse me, did I understand correctly that you decided to insure life?
- Yes, son. You see, I'm going to go to Europe with my father.
Even more surprised, the employee asks:
- I beg your pardon for curiosity, but how old is your father?
- 127.
- 127? And what are you going to do in Europe?
We're going there for my grandfather's wedding.
The stunned insurer asks:
- And how old is your grandfather then?
- He's already 150.
- Come on? Did your grandfather decide to get married at that age?
- Yes, which one he decided, his parents forced him.

... then the pursued jumped into the water and, despite repeated demands, never surfaced again ...
… besides, from my first accident until my last accident, I drove without any traffic accidents…
... suddenly a pedestrian appeared from the sidewalk and without a word disappeared under my car ...
... I never hid from the scene, on the contrary, I was constantly carried away from it on a stretcher ...
… as I approached the intersection, a fence came up to block my view…
…who stole my wallet, I don’t know, since none of my relatives were around…
... I was driving through the city and suddenly a lot of cars appeared on the left and right. I lost my bearings, and then I was hit front and rear ...
... the pedestrian, apparently, had no idea where he should go, and in this way I ran into him ...
… on a right turn, I was spun, while my car hit a fruit stand and I - attacked by oranges, bananas and melons randomly falling on top of each other - after bypassing the mailbox, ended up on the other side of the street, crashed into a tree there and eventually, along with two other parked cars, slid down a slope. After that, I unfortunately lost control of the car ...
... at the moment when the fitter swung the hammer, the victim stood behind him to see where the blow would take. The blow landed on his head.
... my son did not run into this woman. He just swept past, and she was knocked over by the air current ...
... when I wanted to hit the brakes, they were not there. My bike went off the sidewalk, hit the Porsche and went on without me ...
… I don't need any life insurance. I want everyone to be truly sad when I die...
… I don't want to vaccinate my son. A friend of mine also recently took hers in for a vaccination and shortly after that he fell out of the window...
… my car was just moving in a straight line, which leads to leaving the track at the turn…
... I reversed on the highway, broke through the fence land plot and crashed into a bungalow. I just couldn't remember where the brake pedal was...
. and then suddenly the Christmas tree caught fire. The fire spread to the curtains, but my husband could not put it out, because at that moment, as a madman, he was looking for the rules for using the apartment ...
… our cars crashed into each other at the exact moment they met…
… the bills I get I never pay right away because I don’t have the money to pay. I put them all in a big drum, from where I pull out three s at the beginning of each month. eyes closed. I pay these bills immediately. You will have to wait until you get a lucky ticket!
… my daughter sprained her leg because those damned women don’t know how to wear proper shoes…
... immediately after the death of my husband, I became a widow ...
… the tennis ball flew clean and elegant, hit by my daughter. Unfortunately, I substituted my head instead of a racket ...
... a giant truck with a trailer was driving in front of me. The air current was so powerful that I was dragged through the intersection ...

In Russia, the practice of insurance began in the 16th century, thanks to fires. In the period from the XIII century. by the 16th century during the battles, the Mongol-Tatars often set fire to Moscow. But the most terrible fire occurred in 1571, when the attack of the army of Khan Devlet Giray led to the fact that the city was almost completely burned out, and half of the population was destroyed. Only 30 thousand people remained in Moscow, its territory was reduced by half. In 1591 there was another major fire. After that, Boris Godunov brought to life the idea of providing financial assistance fire victims.

Today, anyone can insure anything: housing, life and, of course, a car, the law provides compulsory insurance OSAGO car - you can buy an OSAGO insurance policy at the best price in Ukraine at this address - oh.ua. So do not forget to insure your car with the best in the business. In addition, now the world has reached the point that the stars insure their body parts:

Prominent director Steven Spielberg has insured his life. The amount of insurance is more than 1 billion. dollars. This policy is recognized as the most expensive in the world.

It's no secret that many famous people insure parts of your body. For example, model Claudia Schiffer and football player David Beckham insured their legs, in the first case they were valued at $ 70 million, and in the second - at $ 5 million. Zemfira's fingers cost $17,000. Jennifer Lopez estimated her ass at several million.

Gennaro Pelizzia's job is to evaluate the taste and quality of raw coffee beans before roasting. He works in the UK, in one of the world's largest coffee chains. Gennaro insured his tongue for nearly $14 million.

The idea of insuring only part of your body was first brought to life by Ben Turpin. It happened in the early 20s of the 20th century, the subject of insurance for a silent film actor was the eyes. At present, the amount was small - 20 thousand dollars.

In the capital of Britain, the largest cigar was presented at the exhibition, its length is 4 m, weight is 110 kg. According to its owner, it will take 339 days to smoke it. The cigar was insured, and the payment for it was only 50 pence, while the entire amount of insurance was equal to 18 thousand pounds sterling.

In London, the owner of an Italian cafe ordered his wax image in the workshop of the famous Madame Tussauds museum. The doll sat at the table, holding a glass in her hand. The mannequin was so good that the cafe owner decided to take it to Denmark for an exhibition. The doll was even bought a separate seat on the plane. Before the flight, the dummy was insured for £2,500. The first payment was 5 pounds.

In 2006, a high heel race was held in one of the cities of Russia. To win, participants from different Russian cities must run 100 m. The catch is that all the girls were wearing shoes with a heel of at least 9 cm. This high-heeled race became the subject of insurance.

Often the consequences of rides and shows are insured. For example, Lloyd insured a new supersonic car. The insurance covered the transportation of the car to the landfill, the time it spent there, the life and health of the pilot. But all this is valid only if the engine of the car is turned off. Thus, the insurance company avoided liability for all the consequences of possible speeding stunts.

The Rinlin brothers decided to insure a rhinoceros and an elephant that participated in circus performances. According to the contract, the insurance was paid in the event that the animals died or lost their working capacity as a result of illness.

A guy who decided to cross the English Channel in a bath insured himself for 100 thousand pounds. Despite the unusual case, the insurance company agreed to sign the contract, but only on the condition that during the swim he tightly closes the drain hole of the tub with a stopper.

The British are so fond of participating in the national lottery that Lloyd's specialists have created a special insurance policy. According to its terms, if several employees of one company quit due to winning the lottery, the employer will be reimbursed for all costs of finding new specialists.

For the filming of the film "Star Trek" actress Kerry Wellis had to cut her hair bald. Leaving the hairdresser, she turned to the insurance company with a request to insure her that her hair would not grow back.

Thoughts, aphorisms, quotes. Business, career, management Dushenko Konstantin Vasilyevich

Insurance

See also Caution and Risk (p. 43)

INSURANCE: a clever game of chance in which the player is allowed to indulge in the hope that he can beat the one who holds the bank.

Ambrose Bierce(1842–1914?),

American writer

You pay insurance premiums for a car for years, secretly hoping that one day an accident will happen that will return you everything to the penny.

"Pshekrui"

Most accidents happen completely by accident.

There are worse things in the world than death. Have you ever spent an evening in the company of an insurance agent?

Woody Allen(b.1935),

American film director, actor, screenwriter

Insurance is death in installments.

Philip Slater(b.1927), American sociologist

An insurance agent must be able to do two things: first, to scare, and then to reassure.

Konstantin Melikhan(b.1952), writer

Novelists and insurance agents always start with the family.

"Pshekrui"

Only life insurance agents can tell you exactly what to expect.

Life insurance is the last thing we are willing to pay for. But then it's too late.

From the book by E. Mackenzie "14,000 phrases ..."

Life insurance allows you to live poor and die rich.

From the book by E. Mackenzie "14,000 phrases ..."

Going on a train journey, there is absolutely no need to insure. The danger lies not in riding the railroad, but in sitting at home. One million Americans die every year. Of these, ten or twelve thousand die from a dagger, a pistol, drown, hang themselves, poison themselves, or find a violent death in other public ways. And all the rest, that is, nine hundred and eighty-seven thousand, six hundred and thirty-one souls, die a natural death in their beds!

From now on, I do not want to trust my life to these beds. I've had enough railways. And this is what I advise everyone: do not stay at home more than absolutely necessary; and if you have to sit at home for a while, buy a pack of insurance receipts and stay up at night. Whatever precautions you take, they will not be unnecessary or excessive.

Mark Twain(1835–1910), American writer

"What do you think of palmists who foretell death to you?" "Hopefully the insurance company won't let me die because I'm insured."

Answer Mark Twain interviewer

One of the few consolations of old age is that you don't get bored with life insurance agents anymore.

From the book by E. Mackenzie "14,000 phrases ..."

The risk of life decreases with each passing day.

Stanislav Jerzy Lec(1909–1966),

Polish writer

It would be nice to have marital life insurance.

Leszek Kumor, Polish writer

This text is an introductory piece. From the book Encyclopedia of the Lawyer of the author

Personal insurance, see Personal insurance contract.

From the book Encyclopedia of the Lawyer of the author

Medical insurance MEDICAL INSURANCE - form social protection interests of the population in the protection of health, the purpose of which is to guarantee citizens in the event of insured event receiving medical care from the accumulated funds and finance

From the book Rights and Responsibilities of the Driver author Bachurin Dmitry

TSB

From the book Big Soviet Encyclopedia(ST) author TSB

From the book Great Soviet Encyclopedia (LI) of the author TSB

From the book Great Soviet Encyclopedia (CO) of the author TSB

From the book Great Soviet Encyclopedia (TR) of the author TSB

From the book Great Soviet Encyclopedia (OK) of the author TSB

From the book The Newest Motorist's Handbook author Volgin Vladislav Vasilievich

Car insurance B case of an accident the insurance company itself works with the perpetrators and experts, lawyers, investigators and witnesses. It makes sense to insure an expensive car against damage because there are no real guarantees of compensation for damage to a car with

From the book Real Estate Economics author Burkhanova Natalia

54. Real estate insurance Real estate insurance is regulated by Law of the Russian Federation No. Russian Federation"(As amended on 10 12 2003) and the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. Insurance real estate carried out on the basis of a property agreement

From the book The Big Book of Aphorisms author

Insurance Life insurance allows you to live in poverty and die rich. NN An insurance agent must be able to do two things: first, scare, and then reassure. Konstantin Melikhan Novelists and insurance agents always start with the family. "Pshekrui" One of the few

From the book Guide to Life: Unwritten Laws, Unexpected Advice, Good Phrases made in USA author Dushenko Konstantin Vasilievich

Insurance Laws and Regulations Most accidents happen completely by accident. ("14,000 Quips & Quotes") Accidents often occur in the kitchen, more often in the bathroom, but most often in the bedroom. ("20,000 Quips & Quotes") Most accidents happen either

From the book Protective book of the driver author Volgin V.

Insurance No one wants to make an accident, even reckless drivers - some hope that they will slip, others - that they will give way. However, traffic accidents happen every day. Well, if only cars are affected. In accordance with the law, the culprit

From the book Memo to citizens of the USSR traveling abroad author author unknown

Insurance Before traveling abroad, it is advisable to insure yourself against unforeseen costs associated with an accident and the provision of medical care to you in this regard, from general medical expenses related to an unexpected illness. If you are traveling outside

From the book Thoughts, aphorisms, quotes. Business, career, management author Dushenko Konstantin Vasilievich

Insurance See also "Caution and Risk" (p. 43) INSURANCE: a clever game of chance in which the player is allowed to console himself with the hope that he can beat the one who holds the bank. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?), American writer Paying insurance premiums for a car

“If it could be my way, I would write the word "insurance" on the gates of every house and in every person's diary, because I am sure that such a small sacrifice saves families from disasters that would otherwise destroy them forever. We are obliged to insure not only human happiness, but also health and strength, which can be lost if something happens to the breadwinner of the family and the fragile ship on which the happy family sails suddenly sinks ... ”

Sir Winston Churchill

Electronic OSAGO insurance is convenient, fast and profitable! Electronic OSAGO you can apply right now. Buy MTPL policy online >>

“Not one moral duty, but a simple personal calculation should encourage everyone to life insurance.”

A.P. Chekhov

“Insurance is very important tool in the life plan of any person. The problem with insurance is that you can't buy it when you need it. You have to anticipate what you will need and buy it, hoping you will never need it.”

Robert Kiyosaki

New York was created not by people, but by insurers ...
Without insurance, there would be no skyscrapers, because not a single worker would agree to work at height, putting his life in danger and leaving his family without food; without insurance, no capitalist would invest millions in this type of building, since an unextinguished cigarette butt can reduce a building to ashes; Without insurance, cars would not drive on the roads.
Even with a Ford, a good driver is aware that at any moment he can run over a pedestrian.”

Henry Ford.

A.S. PUSHKIN about life insurance P. V. NASCHOKIN.

About (no later than) June 20, 1831 and from Tsarskoye Selo to Moscow.

“Very, very much thank you for your letter of June 9th. I don't know if I answered you; Just in case, after reading it, I write the answer. I paid the contractor; he told me that you promised him an increase from me, for this I am waiting for your order, but I will not add a penny from myself. I do not quite understand what condition you could conclude with Rakhmanov; to insure life in Rus' has not yet been introduced into the habit, but it will come in someday; for the time being we are not insured, but intimidated.
……Sorry, answer.”

“I don’t know of a single family that went broke paying insurance premiums, but I know families who went broke without doing it.”

Winston Churchill

"By using accumulative insurance life, even the poor can accumulate financial condition. After which he will be able to feel the real pleasure from the realization that if something happens to him, then his familywill protected!"

Harry Truman